I was thinking about how the meaning of Valentine's Day has shifted for me since I got married. It used to be about what romantic thing the boy I was dating would do for me, or it was a torturous reminder that I was single and may end up an old maid. Now, it's about celebrating the people I love. Particularly, my dear Watson.
When we dated in high school I worried myself sick about whether or not we were doing the right thing. I must have said 5,000 prayers that we would make right choices, and that if Heavenly Father didn't want us to be together, then please let me know. We were young and it was against my previous mindset to have a boyfriend in high school. My dear Watson was special though, and when I look back on the way I felt after meeting him for the first time, I know Heavenly Father had a hand in everything. I think the only reason this worked is because of how desperately we both wanted what was right.
In the months leading up to my dear Watson serving a mission, I spent a LOT of time crying and pleading with Heavenly Father to help me let him go. I prayed that I would keep my eyes and options open to the will of the Lord, even if it meant not marrying my dear Watson. But I prayed occasionally as well, that I would be able to marry him. I just wanted to do what was right.
I planned a trip to New Zealand 2 months after he left on his mission. I knew this would be critical in helping me heal and let go. It was critical, and I did heal. In fact, I healed so much that I decided I thought I might want to marry someone else. Not necessarily someone else in particular, but I just didn't think I'd marry my dear Watson anymore. So I wrote him a letter and that infamous song. I made up my mind and regardless of my situation when he came back, I would not try to go after him. He was not my back-up boyfriend.
After I made that decision, the last year of his mission went by very fast for me...and no doubt for him too.
He came home, and when I heard from my good friend and roommate that she had seen my dear Watson at a wedding reception, I immediately felt nervous. My heart started beating faster and a million thoughts flooded into my mind. I decided that I needed to see him. As we spent time together I approached everything very carefully. I needed to know that I would not break his heart again before I began pursuing anything. It didn't take long for me to remember how much I loved him.
The first time we held hands after his mission, I went home, fell to my knees and cried and thanked Heavenly Father for this blessing. I truly felt like I understood in a small way, the principle of compensation as Elder Wirthlin described it. I had cried in pain in that very spot in my bedroom so many, many, times about having to let him go, and now I was there crying because I didn't have to let him go. It was finally our time. Every tear of pain and heartache was replaced by 100 more tears of joy. I was so happy.
I look at him and can't even believe he's the same boy I loved in high school. He's much more than that now and I thank Heavenly Father every day that my dear Watson is my husband. He is the best part of my life and I'm glad to be able to celebrate our love today.
Can you see God's hand in bringing you and your spouse together? Think about it, and write it down if you haven't.
|This is the birthday cake I made for my niece Megan. She said she was the luckiest because she wanted that exact cake.|